i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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