She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
