I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
