I'm eating all of the evidence.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
