I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
