yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
