I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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