Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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