So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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