You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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