So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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