On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
