there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
