So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
