guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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