Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
