I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize