I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
