So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
