talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
