Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
