Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
