he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
