Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
