GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We have so much sex to catch up on
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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