pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
