Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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