Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
