There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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