Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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