yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We have so much sex to catch up on
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I did not marry a roomba.
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