i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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