you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
