I think I died a long time ago.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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