Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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