Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it's great music for shaving your balls
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
