is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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