Kiss
Puke
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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