yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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