Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
