I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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