You really coming over, don't trick.
she looked like the before picture.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
