sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
FUCK WHALES
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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