what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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