you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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