i barfeds in our rink
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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