...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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