she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
