New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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