..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
