You just made me feel so damn special
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Say something about gay babies.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
smell my finger.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
