Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love having hate sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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