and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
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is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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