i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
