ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
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Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
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You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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