They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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