What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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