And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
