yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
