After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
