It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
