Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
